bridal shower

yesterday's activity was both tiring yet successful. i organized a very intimate bridal shower for my co-therapist Vanessa who's getting married next saturday. i even volunteered my place as the venue. although it was undoubtedly far from our place of work, 5 was able to make it to the event. the other three had other more important things to attend to. so basically, it wasn't really about the distance that kept them from coming.

it was my first time to host such an event. didn't realize though that it would be costly especially when there are only 5 participants (alissa, kathy, janet, vanessa and me). my bad! i took the liberty of ordering a kink cake from a nearby mall for fun's sake. believe me, it was so embarrasing for me to have to walk 3 levels and 2 buildings and carry the cake with the phallic structure to my car. hehe! we ordered chicken from KFC and i cooked my tuna pasta.

we were successful enough to convince her that it was a despedida party for our other friend Janet. as she had to attend a wedding prior to the party, kathy and she came really late (10 pm!) and she was so ashamed for not having come earlier. then, we led her to my house's terrace, which at that time was unlit to conceal our little surprise. when the lights came on, Vanessa, being the girl that she is (i won't mention details! :P), was so amused by the cake. we also had a trivia game. but amazingly, Carlo (Vanessa's fiance) and vanessa matched 100% in their answers. hmm.. we should have made the questions harder! of course, secrets were revealed. ;-)

another highlight of the event was ate Baby's (our secretary at the clinic) message for Vanessa. she was unable to attend the party because she was sick but she really took the time to write down her advice for a blissful married life. we picked up a lot of good points on that one. we're just sorry she couldn't make it. otherwise, the conversations would have been kinkier/naughtier. hehe! sayang! :P

i could clearly see that there is more peace in Vanessa's heart and that ending up with carlo is what she really wants now. well and good! i am sure that they will be a very happy together. good luck to Carlo and Vanessa!

about canberra

I thought since its Australia Day today (26 January 2005), I should write something about Canberra, my home for the last 10 years.

Canberra was derived from an aboriginal term which means Meeting Place. Not a lot of people are familiar with this city but it is actually Australia’s capital and seat of government.

Compared to its more cosmopolitan sisters, Sydney and Melbourne, it has a reputation to be boring and sleepy. But its not all downside when we talk of boring here. It just means that you do not have lots of traffic, pollution and crime that you get to accept when living in bigger cities.

Canberra is about 4 hours drive from Sydney. It has a spectacular landscape of hills, vegetation and lake which at night can be breath-taking . It is also home to most of the embassies and government institutions including the Parliament House.

It is independently governed and covers an area of about 2,349 square kilometers. It has a population of about 300,000 and has a relatively small but tight Filipino community that is oftentimes preoccupied with church and bowling.

Malls normally close at 4:00 pm except on Fridays (9:00 pm) when its late night shopping day. During weekends, people tend to go to parks here where you can barbie (barbecue) and play footy (football, Australian type) with friends.

Its either you love or hate living in Canberra. If you are young and looking for some action maybe this is not the place for you. But if you have a young family, the city is perfect.

Leah and I plan to live here. At least for now. We don’t know where the future will bring us but as long as we are together that place will be our home.

~ post by jopek

food for thought...

here's some food for thought for the soon-to-be newlyweds or for anyone who's seriously into another person. i got this from my bulletin board in friendster:

COMMITMENT

The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love. It's easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time. Easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely. It also means shutting one's heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe.In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner's. We see it all the time. One loves more than the other and is more committed than the other. It is false to believe that two lovers love each other to the same degree. We have often seen lop-sided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other. But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn't just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street. That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man.

Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him "I love you" and you're telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough todie for him? The greatest test of true love is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. There can be no doubting this. I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later. Were they inlove? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain. A lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving.When one's love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner. When a couple believe strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it's OK to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved. If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lop-sided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade. In the countless counseling sessions I have had with troubled couples over the years, there has always been the problem of a failing commitment on the part of at least one of the partners. Unless there is the raising of the level of commitment, the relationship isdoomed. It's finished. Sooner or later the stresses will take their toll and the relationship will begin to fall apart. On the other hand, look carefully at lovers who are still very much in love after 20, 25 years. Their commitment to each other cannot be shaken. Neither can their love.

great point!

year of the weddings?

hmmm... it just hit me that a lot of people i know will be marrying this year. ano ba to, year of the weddings? first of all, two of my closest friends in college will be taking the plunge this year. then two co-therapists from work will also be tying the knot soon. and then three of my relatives (2 cousins and 1 uncle) will also be walking down the aisle, even before me! not to mention me and the people in my egroup (w@w) pa. that's a handful! i suppose everbody is happy, contented and brave enough to take that BIG step forward in their relationships. well and good!

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i just got word from my tito benjie that he will be accepting our invitation to be one of our ninongs. he was actually the last relative i asked because deep in my heart i knew he would gladly oblige us without batting an eyelash. after all, he is my godfather in baptism and is one of my mom's closest cousins. other relatives who have agreed to take part in our celebration in december are my tita sylvia, tita marina and lolo titing. the two aunts are both first cousins of my mom. lolo titing, on the other hand, is the younger brother of my maternal grandfather, lolo nene. all from the Yap clan. i'm quite excited because this'll be like a reunion of sorts.

the serenity prayer

still on accepting... i want to share this very special prayer, called the SERENITY PRAYER, which i regularly recite whenever i am in turmoil or having difficulty in embracing the harsh truths and realities in life. i got this from a redemptorist priest when i was in college. it was a time when i was struggling with the bitterness of having to live the life of a child of a broken family.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next. Amen.

~ Reinhold Niebuhr

on love and acceptance

i realized today that you can never be too complacent. one day you're enjoying life's joy rides. then suddenly, you hit some bumps and pot holes that leave you shaken and dazed.

love is confusing. it can lead you to heights of extreme joy and happiness but at the same time hurt you mercilessly and leave you devastated.

i read somewhere that there is no such thing as unconditional love because man is naturally self-biased. i think there is a point in that argument. in my opinion, the only thing that would make it unconditional would be to accept the other person's flaws and faults in the past and embrace their totality as a person.what is most important is the life you now both live and the future that is yours to share. enough said.

goodbyes

as i sit and compose this entry, joseph is probably on board the plane to sydney. this is the second time we've parted and we can never get used to it. this time, though, it was more difficult to see him go since we've spent the past month practically together each and every day. we have discovered each other's person in ways i thought not possible. it has made us inseparable.

the idea of him going back to australia and being apart for the next eight months can be truly saddening. but then again, we have to look at the bright side of things. the next time he's back we'll be husband and wife as we have scheduled our civil rites this august to expedite the processing of my visa as his spouse. now, i am really looking forward to that.

each time we come together, i notice that there's always a major event to look forward to. when he came first in august, it was the nerve-wracking eye-ball (EB). our second reunion in december of last year was dedicated for the pamamanhikan and the start of our wedding preparations. our upcoming reunion on august of this year, we will have our civil rites in the presence of a judge. and last but certainly the most awaited is our church wedding in december. definitely a handful!

in these times of sadness and longing, i just have to look at all that is yet to happen. that is more than enough to put a smile back on my face.

happy new year

it's been a while since i last posted. been to cebu for four days only as i had to rush back to manila to spend more quality time with joseph. i can't believe that there's barely two weeks left of his vacation. after that, we won't be seeing each other again until august of this year. that's a mighty long time. i can't wait for the wedding to be over. until then, we'll have to sacrifice a bit.

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i got the chance to finally meet some of his friends from australia. we were supposed to go out for bowling but unfortunately, one of his friend's mother died and so we had the little meeting at the funeral home in arlington. what a weird place to meet. there i was introduced to mike and beth, ricky and vi. i also met edwin aka "attorney" who was joseph's classmate in high school. ricky was also their classmate at st. anthony.

we also met up with joseph's other high school classmates after christmas. ruel and leni, alex and jane, and edwin was there. i had a great time just listening to them reminisce about their HS days in st. anthony. it was fun. pigging it out on good earth's food and italianni's desserts was also a highlight.

because i was the only one here during the new year, joseph suggested that i spend it with his family. we went to their house for dinner and some fireworks. on new year's day, we went to his aunt's house (tita citas) in fairview where i was introduced to more relatives and close family friends. the food was good!

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i was in cebu for four days. i must admit that it was a very short trip but well spent. i met up with girlie and peggy, just 2 of my good friends from college. they were kind enough to pick me up at the airport and treat me to lunch at harbor view dimsum. of course, i ate the very famous steam rice and siomai with quail egg. their other halfs joined us for lunch, eric and jayson.

in my trip to bogo, i stayed at my maternal grandparents' house in pandan. it's a bit old and really needs renovating. i suppose my lolo nene hasn't had the time to fix the house because of lola. lola meter hardly walks these days. she stays in bed for most of the time. if she gets bored, she'll ring her bell to call julie, our helper, to have her transferred to her wheelchair so that she can go around. when she gets tired of sitting, she goes back to her bed. i noticed that her affected leg has atrophied already. lolo tells me that she hasn't been very cooperative in doing her exercises. that explains it. mama is keen on transferring lola to manila so that she can persuade her to take therapy more seriously. we think, lola can easily manipulate lolo. lolo claims that he has given up already in trying to convince her to get stronger. i hope our plan works.