a not so happy birthday

yesterday marked the big 3-0 for me. and yet, i still feel like i'm in my early 20's. where did all the time go?

there was no big celebration at our house, since we had that early despedida party last Saturday hosted by my mom. and also probably because, there was an emotional strain in the air due to my impending departure. there were only six of us (me, mama, brother david, our two household helps and baby G) having a real quiet dinner. it was too quiet for a birthday celebration.

and to cap the night off, i spilled buckets of tears while i was talking to J on the phone. i guess i just wasn't good enough in keeping it all in.

i hope, when when my mom drops me off at the airport on Tuesday, she can be strong for me and won't let me see the tears in her eyes. otherwise, i am almost a hundred percent sure that i'd be an emotional mess at the departure gate. *sigh*