bridezilla

oh yeah, i am definitely morphing into one. this week has been like hell! as much as you want to try to stay calm and not panic, i find it terribly difficult not to.

work is still keeping me preoccupied. part-time, that is. patient referrals continue to pour in. this i have no control of and i just have to provide the service that is due them.

wedding preps are also ongoing. it's the nitty-gritty details that's getting to me. it's so hard to focus when so much is going on all at the same time.

the visa application is almost done. i have yet to accomplish only 3 more things -- my medical check up, the counselling session at the CFO, and renewal of my passport using my married name. today, i plan to attend the seminar at the Good Shepherd convent along Aurora Blvd. would you believe that they have scheduled the sessions for spouses of Aussies at 3:30 PM and that it would take 3 hours??? not to mention that i have to travel all the way to that most traffic part of the world. hay...

and yes, my fertility work-up. i am plainly tired. i have been to the doctors for the past two years and believe me, it ain't no fun being poked around. initially i felt "violated" but since it was something i couldn't turn my back on, i guess i've just become so numb already to all the procedures. it's never ending! and i am tired!

after submitting again to another round of ultrasound yesterday and my blood drawn to check for hormone levels, i am scheduled to get my hysterogram next month to check the patency of my tubes. this, they say, is just a simple out-patient procedure but will cost us thousands again. i just hope that the results are positive and that we don't have to spend anymore for other invasive procedures.

hay... that's all i can say. i feel like i'm drowning. buti na lang Joseph is my lifesaver. he keeps my head above the water. he is my source of strength. i can just imagine him feeling so helpless because he is not here to lend me a hand in all the preps. but amazingly, his support seems to be more than enough. nakakamiss tuloy...